“It’s very confusing… we thought we lesbians are safe”

Perhaps infected them. All of these individuals reported that they had never ever been with male lovers or had contact with medical transmissions or inserting medication usage (we would not ask if participants had been created with HIV or any other feasible dangers of transmission). Although hard for them all to know, really the only possible path of transmission and high-risk behavior they could report had been intercourse along with other females. All individuals additionally reported which they had been surprised to discover they was in fact contaminated with HIV and might maybe not know how it had occurred. That they had all thought that since they had just been with females, they certainly were safe:

“…i really couldn’t know how it simply happened I thought we (lesbians) are safe, and the only person I was sexually active with was also a female because I was fine and. I really couldn’t comprehend… I really couldn’t comprehend. I really couldn’t know how I possibly could have contracted the herpes virus once I had thought I happened to be safe in a real method! ” Zanele, 31 yrs old, Durban

“It’s the manner in which sexier young you get diseased as a lesbian as it’s actually confusing exactly just exactly how it’s possible. Other females understand which they obtain it from their partners during penetrative sexual activity then again as a lady that is a lesbian whom additionally sleeps along with other ladies – it is rather confusing. ” Lebo, 22 yrs old, Pretoria

The individuals’ confusion and disbelief is obvious through the examples that are above. When you look at the very first quote, Zanele repeats exactly just how she “couldn’t understand” being HIV infected. This feeling of confusion and very nearly maybe not believing that certain is HIV good ended up being a theme that is recurring the five individuals whom reported exclusive intimate connections with ladies in their life time. It continues to be confusing for most of them exactly exactly how transmission that is possible happen between females.

For those individuals, coping with HIV demands constant explanations of how one got infected as assumptions override lived realities. Not just are individuals not able to realize feasible illness for themselves, they simultaneously find it difficult to respond to constant concerns from others exactly how they are often contaminated:

“People think you got HIV that you have slept with a man and that’s how. It will make my entire life much much harder because as a lesbian girl whom is HIV positive, I need to explain the way I got HIV. ” Bongi, 33 yrs old, Johannesburg

“In the city they raise numerous questions regarding the very fact they see…my partner is a woman that I am a lesbian and when. Then, `how did I be HIV good whenever I have always been a individual who really loves other ladies? ‘ they ask. Some also get in terms of saying it is really not astonishing that We have HIV – where have actually we have you ever heard that a lady and another woman may be included? ” Gugu, 30 yrs old, Durban

It really is obvious through the above quotes that their HIV good status produces various problems into the life of the ladies. The constant need to explain a person’s status to others implies that you may still find misconceptions about HIV transmission along with ignorance about same-sex relations.

Choosing to disclose

Individuals had been also asked should they had disclosed their status to anybody except that the interviewer. Reactions suggest that nearly all participants had disclosed to someone, some family relations and few buddies. Nevertheless, a couple of participants had just disclosed to at least one or two other people. Some had disclosed to family unit members, buddies as well as publicly. One of the individuals had been a couple of AIDS activists have been understood inside their communities to be residing freely with HIV. For all individuals who’d disclosed to loved ones and buddies, disclosure had been couched into the language of protection – i.e. Protecting yourself and another from feasible illness:

I still have to do the same for myself“As I would like to protect the next person. I might nothing like to get re-infected…As very long as you carry on having non-safe sex, you are able to nevertheless get re-infected. ” Zintle, 22 yrs old, Pretoria

“My mother as well understands (about my HIV status) because that she must use gloves to help so she won’t be infected” Gugu, 30 yrs old, Durban if I collapse in front of her she must know

All stated the necessity and importance of disclosing to intimate partners while participants may shy away from disclosing to the general public. Central to such disclosure is protecting someone and ensuring she will not get badly infected:

“Most associated with the lovers that I became dating – a lot of them are in reality HIV negative and we just be sure that they can constantly stay HIV negative. I would personallyn’t risk their life and We just be sure that I would personallyn’t do just about anything…” Taati, 26 yrs old, Windhoek